I Almost Died on Beltane Eve: A Personal Message from Blue

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus

My dearest Luna e Stelle community,

As I write these words, the spring light filters through my studio windows, illuminating the dress forms that have waited patiently for my return. Like the mythical phoenix that inspires so much of our work, I find myself emerging from a period of profound transformation—one that tested every fiber of my being and ultimately led me back to the ancient wisdom that lies at the heart of everything we create together.

A Season of Shadows

You may have noticed my absence from these digital spaces we share, the silence where once there was a steady rhythm of creation and connection. I've always believed in transparency with you, our cherished community, and so I want to share the journey that has unfolded these past months—a journey that, while deeply personal, has everything to do with the future of Luna e Stelle and the deeper purpose we serve.

This past year brought challenges I could never have anticipated. What began as a usually manageable health condition—a bleeding disorder called Von Willebrand disease that I've carried since birth—evolved into something far more complex. The intricate dance between body and spirit that I've always honored in my work became a daily negotiation with uncertainty, pain, and the humbling recognition of my own mortality.

The details feel almost surreal in their telling: kidney infections that refused to yield, allergic reactions to the antibiotics that threatened life itself, and finally, a moment on Beltane Eve when Western medicine reached its limits, and I found myself facing the possibility that there might be no conventional path forward. It was in that dark night of the soul that I was led to an ancient remedy—myrrh resin extract—a gift from the plant kingdom that has been healing humanity for millennia.

The Alchemy of Healing

There's something profoundly fitting about finding salvation in an ancient botanical medicine. Just as we breathe new life into forgotten fabrics, transforming them through ice-dyeing and careful reconstruction, I discovered that my own healing would come through honoring the wisdom of the past. Myrrh, with its storied history of healing and transformation, became my ally in ways that modern pharmaceuticals could not.

This experience has deepened my understanding of what we've always known at Luna e Stelle: that true transformation requires patience, respect for natural processes, and faith in the alchemy that occurs when we align ourselves with forces greater than our immediate understanding. The same principles that guide our sustainable practices and artisanal methods revealed themselves as universal truths about healing, growth, and renewal.

Sacred Pause, Sacred Return

These months of necessary stillness have not been idle ones. In the quiet spaces between treatments and recovery, I've been dreaming and preparing for what comes next. Several exquisite half-finished pieces await their debut—garments that carry within their fibers the energy of transformation and resilience. Each stitch was placed with intention, each dye process conducted with reverence for the healing journey we all navigate in our own ways.

I've also been tending my garden, that sacred space where the partnership between human intention and natural wisdom plays out in endless cycles of death and rebirth. The same hands that guide fabric through ice-dye baths have been nurturing seeds and transplants, finding in the earth's rhythms a reminder that all true creation requires seasons of apparent dormancy.

The Thread Continues

As I write this, strength returns to my body like color bleeding through ice into waiting fabric—gradually, beautifully, with patterns that could never have been forced or predicted. The kidney infection that so recently threatened my life is yielding to the gentle persistence of ancient medicine, and I find myself grateful beyond measure for the wisdom keepers who preserved these plant allies through centuries of change.

This journey has reminded me why Luna e Stelle exists—not merely to create beautiful clothing, but to honor the deeper cycles of transformation that govern all life. Every vintage piece we rescue and reimagine carries within it stories of lives lived, challenges faced, and beauty discovered in unexpected places. In transforming these materials, we participate in the great work of alchemy that extends far beyond fashion into the realm of soul-making.

What Lies Ahead

In the coming weeks, you'll begin to see the fruits of this period of reflection and renewal. New pieces that embody everything we've learned about resilience, transformation, and the marriage of ancient wisdom with contemporary vision. Content that explores not just the technical aspects of sustainable fashion, but the deeper philosophies that animate our work. Stories that weave together the personal and the universal, the individual journey and the collective awakening that sustainable luxury represents.

I'm also excited to share more about the plant medicines and natural healing modalities that have become part of my daily practice. Just as we've always believed that what we put on our bodies matters, I've learned firsthand how what we put in our bodies can either support or undermine our highest potential. This wisdom will inform future collaborations and perhaps new offerings that honor the holistic nature of true well-being.

Gratitude Beyond Words

To those of you who have reached out with love and support during this time—your messages have been medicine in themselves. To the customers who have remained patient and loyal during my absence, you've demonstrated the kind of consciousness that makes this work possible. To the friends and healers who held space for me in my darkest hours, your gifts are woven into every future creation of my life`.

This community we've built around Luna e Stelle has proven itself to be exactly what I always hoped it would be: a gathering of souls who understand that true luxury lies not in excess or exclusivity, but in consciousness, beauty, and the courage to live authentically. You've shown me that Luna e Stelle is more than a brand—it's a movement, a way of being in the world that honors both personal transformation and collective healing.

The Dance Continues

As I prepare to re-enter the rhythm of creation, I carry with me a deeper appreciation for the fragility and resilience of life, the power of ancient wisdom to heal modern ailments, and the profound privilege of creating beauty in a world that desperately needs it. Every piece that emerges from our atelier in the coming months will be infused with this hard-won wisdom, every dye bath will be a prayer of gratitude for the gift of another day to serve beauty and consciousness.

The dance between shadow and light, destruction and creation, illness and healing—these are the eternal rhythms that inform all meaningful work. Luna e Stelle emerges from this season not diminished but deepened, not weakened but refined, like silver tested in fire.

Thank you for walking this path with me, for holding space for the full spectrum of human experience, and for understanding that sometimes the most important transformation happens in the spaces between words, in the silence that precedes new creation.

The moon and stars have always been my guides, and they have never shone more brightly than in these moments of return. Together, we continue the sacred work of transformation, one thread at a time, one breath at a time, one day at a time.

With infinite love and gratitude,
Blue

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

P.S. For those interested in learning more about myrrh and other plant medicines that have supported my healing journey, I'll be sharing resources and insights in future posts. As always, consult with qualified healthcare practitioners before making any changes to your health regimen. The path to healing is as individual as the garments we create—what works for one may not work for another, but the wisdom lies in remaining open to all possibilities.